Question:
Hi I’m in need of legal advice and help with dealing with my ex, he is a marine and we have been separated for 2 years he lives in Cali and I live in Texas my two girls have been living with me since our separation. We have agreed on filing divorce mutually, he has help with lawyer on filing our paperwork and he is trying to rush me into filling out the divorce papers when I have no help and no idea what I’m doing, by threatening to keep my kids with him till the divorce is finalized. They don’t want to live with him they want to live with me and have been for years I have all their items here and have them registered in school here too. We had a mutual agreement that he would meet me half way to give the kids back in El Paso before school starts. But he went back on his word. We don’t have anything in writing cuz my phone deletes old texts messages as default. I do have proof of him saying he is willing to keep the girls even if they don t want to stay with him till the divorce is finalized and I have proof of him cheating which is why I left him in the first place, I have proof he is currently living in a apartment with his girlfriend. We have been married since 2007 and he has been in the military for as long too. I want this divorce as much and he does but I want to make sure I don’t get screwed in the process. I don’t have money for a lawyer and he knows that. I need help, he is manipulating and aggressive my daughter told me he cusses and fights with his girlfriend all the time and that he has hitting walls during their arguments.
Jim's Reply:
If you have the children now and have had them for a while, it's likely that they will stay with you. There is no such thing as a friendly or mutually agreeable divorce when children are involved and as you are in control of the kids today, you should file for divorce. You can do that without a lawyer. If you'll determine the court nearest to you and go and speak with a clerk of court, most courts will hand you the papers you need to get started. Most divorces today are "no fault" so all you have to say is that you want a divorce. Once you file the papers, the court will take it from there and notify your ex to appear before the court...he can usually do that by phone if he can't travel. Once all that happens, the court will bring a decision and tell you how the children will be given care by each parent and who owes what for child support or alimony. Don't wait to file...as in any legal setting, it's always better to be the plaintiff than the defendant.
- PS from StatesideLegal: Use our "Find Legal Help" directory to see if you are eligible for help from the local LSC civil legal aid provider; if not, ask the local LRS provider for a low-cost consultation with a divorce lawyer who understands military/veteran issues. And read our explanation of Divorce in the Military here.