Question:
My husband moved out almost two year ago and has been receiving dependents compensation for me and our three children but hasn’t been helping us... he has actually taken money from me and isn’t paying the court ordered child support, and the kids and I are really struggling. I have had to get a PFA to protect us but we are still married. How do I go about getting the benefits to come to me, and can I possibly get retro benefits that he would pay back? A friend told me this was possible and it would be such a help as he has dissipated almost all of our assets. I feel bad but I don't know what else to do.
Jim's Reply:
Since you didn't tell me, I don't know where he's receiving dependent's compensation from? Is he a veteran? Active duty? A civilian and you're the veteran? You're still married? Why? A Protection From Abuse (PFA) order doesn't always or even usually spell out specific financial obligations like a divorce decree does.
If you don't have a court order from a divorce court for child support, there isn't much anyone can do. I'll assume he's a veteran and that he has a VA disability check that includes a payment for his children and you as dependents. If you were divorced and if you had a child support order and if he fell substantially behind in that child support obligation, then and only then you could attempt to apportion his benefits for what you are owed.
Unless and until you file for a divorce nobody will be able to help you recover benefits. As long as you remain married you're seen as a couple having some problems they'll maybe work out. Once you divorce, you have the law on your side.
Good luck.